


Back in my bed

by apieformydean



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Drugs, Emotions, Frerard if you squint, Friends to Lovers, I just hope it doesn't suck that much, It's like a bandom gang bang thingie, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Prompt Fic, With a lot of gay and crying, because i'm trash, i have no idea what this is, i told you it was gay, joshler - Freeform, past ryden, petekey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-11 14:12:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7055818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apieformydean/pseuds/apieformydean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We have been together for more than half a year before I realized I fell for him. I never told him, though. Thought we had plenty of time on our hands.</p><p>It lasted a year. Then college happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back in my bed

**Author's Note:**

> My prompt was:
> 
> Persons A and B are not together anymore. They had a relationship earlier that went as far as moving in together and sharing the same bed (whether they had - or even wanted to - have sex in it is up to you). But they broke up for some reason, and A kept the double bed because it was easier/comfier/etc.  
> Then, A and B go out to drink one night. A gets drunk, and the last thing they remember is confessing to B that they feel very lonely after the breakup, and B helping them get back home.  
> In the morning, A wakes up with a major hangover and turns over in their bed. Guess who they see beside them. B, laying on top of the sheets without a care in the world.  
> Where do things go from there?

The first thing I sense is his smell.

He smells like cinnamon and soap and warmth. I smile as I think about how I bury my face in his neck and how his arms fall around my waist as he giggles. I know he's ticklish. I love his giggles and how he playfully hits my chest with his pretty hands.

I slowly open my eyes, and I immediately feel my heart sink. My bed next to me is empty. As I try to hold on to the smell I reckon on smelling just a moment ago, it's gone. I believe it was only an illusion. I sigh.

Another episode on Pathetic Days of Josh Dun. I don't remember dreaming about him, it's just the ghost of the smell, and I know my day is ruined.

I haven't smelled him in weeks. A month, probably. I thought it was over, but it certainly isn't.

 

* * *

 

I'm sitting at my desk, trying to stay awake. The office is still dull, it seems to lack any kind of effects on me. Everything is sterile and I know I have heaps of work to do, but I can't find the motive. It's only been three hours into the day yet and I'm already in agony. I just keep my forehead in my hands and try to shut out the fact that I'll have to eventually start the paperwork in some time.

That's when my phone rings. Well, not actually, it just buzzes. Dumb workplace rules. I take an unenthusiastic look at it and almost drop it when I see the caller's ID. I hesitate whether I should pick it up or not. I finally decide I should.

"Hey, Ty," I speak softly.

"Josh, my boy," I hear his cheerful greeting and my chest is suddenly filled with butterflies. "How are you, man?"

"Um, great, thanks," I try to find my natural voice, and I clear my throat. "How you doing?"

"I'm fine, I wanted to call you to tell you I'm coming home for some days," he tells me happily. He's away at college, I haven't seen him for months now. Haven't even talked to him for several weeks. "What're you doing this evening? We could meet or something."

"Well, I... I'm kind of..." I have no idea what to say. Tyler caught me totally off-guard and I'm not sure if I want to meet him or not. "Where would you like to go?"

"I dunno, thought about going out with the old squad, you know?"

"Oh," I reply dully. The fact it won't be just the two of us changes everything. "Okay, I guess."

"Awesome," I can hear his grin through the phone. "Meet at mine at 7?"

"Sounds good," I reply, trying to sound less hostile than I feel I sound.

"Then, see you," he speaks and after I mumble a 'bye', he hangs up.

 

* * *

 

Why do I feel like an idiot as I knock on Tyler's door? It's not the first time we meet since the break-up, why do his approaching steps make my mouth run dry?

The door swings open and a grinning midget with pink hair greets me.

"Hello amigo!"

"Hi Pete," I try to smile and run a hand through my hair. I need to calm down. At this pace, I will actually go crazy by the end of the night.

"You're the last one, man, we've been waiting for _ages_ , maybe some bottles've been emptied, I mean come on _in_ , man," he babbles and I can tell he's already tipsy. I'm wondering if he's the only one. I follow him in the house. Some rock greets me as I step in the hall. I see too many pairs of dirty chucks by the wall.

"Joshua, what a surprise!" Gerard comes at me suddenly from the kitchen with his arms wide open. He has his sunglasses on. Definitely not Pete is the only one who's already had some.

"I'm glad to see you, too," I let him embrace me in a hug and he stays close, several moments too long. "It's kinda... okay, it's uncomfortable now, let me go."

"'M sorry, man, I'm just so happy we are all together again," he beams at me. His blond hair sticks up at every directions and I can tell why I had a crush on him when I was about 16.

"Me too," I reply genuinely. It feels like we are all teenagers again. The windows of the living room are darkened I see as I walk past the door to the kitchen.

The first sight I see are Frank and Mikey sitting on the counter and talking about something quite passionately - which is Frank; nobody has ever seen Mikey 'passionate' about anything and live to tell. Brendon, Ray, Patrick and Tyler are at the kitchen table, playing poker. My stomach tightens a bit. Ty is grinning at something Ray said in a monotone voice just a moment ago and I can't help but realize he's still beautiful. His skin is tanned from the months spent in Florida. I feel my lips curl downwards at the thought of him enjoying life in the college. _Without_ me.

"Hey man!" Brendon is the first to realize I'm in the room and he smiles at me widely with his full lips and huge brown eyes. Strange. I remembered him as the moping depressed kid after he and Ryan broke up some months ago. I'm happy he's finally over him. I shake hands with him and step to the others at the table too. Mikey and Frankie are so preoccupied by talking about some pranks they pulled on people I don't know that I leave them to it. I shake hands with Ray and Pat, saving Tyler for the last. When he touches me, I feel sparkles in my fingertips.

"I'm happy you made it," Tyler smiles warmly and I feel his thumb circle the back of my hand as he pulls me closer. He hugs me with his other arm and I freeze for a moment. He's so cheerful and welcoming that I feel shitty for considering leaving out his party.

"So, erm, where do you intend on going?" I ask, voice a bit unsure. The others sit back at the table, Gee joins them after giving Frank a dirty kiss while Pete climbs up on the counter to hug Mikey from behind. They look adorable. And I hate to admit it but Pete is rocking the pink hair way better than I do.

"I dunno, we mainly just planned on getting drunk somewhere but I guess it happened to be this place," Tyler looks around lazily. He smiles at me again and I have no idea what I will do the rest of the night because every time he smiles, I have a small flashback and it's killing me. "Can I get you a drink or something?"

And it sounds like the solution to my problem.

 

* * *

 

"So I's like daaamn man those curls're _badass_ ," Frank clumsily puts a hand in Ray's fuzzy hair and the other just chuckles. I hear them explaining the story of the band to Tyler from the other end of the room and I try to focus on Brendon and Patrick sitting next to me on the bed.

We are seriously smashed. I think I've drank more than half of that bottle of vodka, several shots of whiskey and some cups of champagne. The music is now blasting from the computer in the bedroom. I'm partly lying on Tyler's bed, the lower half of my body on the floor. We've lost Mikey and Pete when they went in the living room, tongues farther down in each other's throats than it should be convenient. Gee has passed out in the hall on the rug and we couldn't wake him up. To be honest, we didn't try that hard.

"I jus' fuckin'  _loved_ him, 'kay?" Brendon sobs over the music, eyeing the empty champagne bottle in his hands. I'm taken aback for a moment. I never thought I would hear him say it out loud.

"I totally get it," Patrick is stoking his back soothingly. He's maybe the soberest of all of us and he's adorable as always- wow. Okay, Josh, maybe you had too much. "But you've been over him for months now, you are doing so well-"

"No, 'm not!" Bren cries out, pushing the heels of his palms to his eyes and smears his tears all over his drunk face. "I'm a fuckin' mess when he's not around, I wrote most o' my songs 'bout him, y'know?" he explains, looking at Pat with miserable eyes. "And now he acts as if we're just fuckin' bandmates and nothin' ever happened!"

"Tell me about it," I mumble to myself, my eyes wandering back on Tyler.

"Oh, yeah, I wanted to ask," Patrick turns to me, hand still on Brendon's back while he weeps. "What's up with you two? Are you back together or what?"

"We're _not_ ," I manage to tell him not too eagerly. "Why'd you think we are?"

"I dunno, man, you have been pretty close tonight," the blond guy just shrugs, but I know he's curious. When we were soberer earlier tonight, they all avoided the subject but they're all curious, I know that.

Me and Tyler had been together. We were still in school, two years ago. We were classmates and in the same gang where most of the guys claimed to be queer. Gee had Frank already, Mikey and Pete were dancing around each other, Bren and Ryan were the power couple, and I was just figuring out my taste. Tyler happened to be there, he was kind and caring and he had it all figured out. It was mostly an experimental thing for me.

In the beginning.

Then I started to feel things. When the relationship was no longer new, I started to get attached. Tyler seemed to be fond of me and I realized I was gay inside out. We even moved in together, he came to live at my place because his would have been too small for us. We have been together for more than half a year before I realized I fell for him. I never told him, though. Thought we had plenty of time on our hands.

It lasted a year. Then college happened.

He got accepted, I didn't.

He moved, I didn't.

When we broke up so we could go our own ways, he told me that we should try and 'look for something easier'. It clearly wasn't worth it for him. He told me to remain friends, because that's what we were in the first place. He was okay after the break-up.

 _He_ managed, I didn't.

"Okay, I dunno if y'want some or not, I've some grass," Ray says, stumbling to his feet. He almost falls over, but then walks to the window, leans on the windowsill and opens his jacket. He has a pack full of joints. He takes out one and after a bit of fidgeting with the lighter, he lights it. He puffs out some smoke and hums. I'm aware Brendon is still talking about Ryan but I stand up and make my way to Ray.

"Can I have one?" I ask him and he silently hands over his pack for me to chose. I take out one and the lighter as well. My hands are shaking a bit but I'm used to smoking. I can do it even if my hands don't really obey me.

"Isn't it wonderful how all those fuckin' stars so far away are already dead and we think they're still beautiful?" Ray muses quietly, looking at the night sky with distant eyes. I can't believe the grass got to his head already.

"Some things have to go to waste before we could appreciate it," I find myself saying and I'm more surprised about it than he is. I'm already high as well, it seems.

"Wow," Ray replies and we don't say anything else. We're both content with the silence between us. He's never been much of a chatterbox, but we all knew in the squad that he was a great listener.

I don't want to think about the old days. They hurt too much. It hurts to know it's all gone now and we most certainly will never get it back as we had it before. I want it to be a distant story we all only remember because we imagined it together.

My thoughts are certainly slow now because I've already smoked my joint. Some slow music comes on or maybe it's just me. I let the bud of my joint fall from between my fingers out of the window. I turn at the room behind me and realize people inside are dancing. Well I'm almost sure, I only see blurred shapes moving too fast for me to follow.

"Hey, Josh, you alright?" a hand lands on my shoulder and after blinking a few I see Tyler by my side, concerned look on his face.

"I'm peachy," I reply and pull him on myself. He stumbles on me, a surprised yelp leaves his mouth. "Dance w'me, Ty."

He pulls away for a moment to look at me but when I don't let him go, he puts his hands on my shoulder and pulls me to the middle of the room. As I distance myself from the wall, I feel like I won't stand for too long on my own. I take a hold of Tyler's hips as we sway to the music. His face is more relaxed now. He's smiling and closes his eyes and lets his head drop back as he feels the music and I can't resist but blurt out, " _Kissme._ "

And he does. He leans in and pushes his lips against mine. Just like that. As if he was waiting for it for some time now. Even _I_ didn't think that would be so easy but it works. I sloppily lick in his mouth and he moans around my tongue and I don't even care about the others in the room as I pull his torso against mine.

" _Joshy_ ," he lets it slip between two kisses and I'm fully aware that we are too drunk and I'm even high and it's like 1 a.m. but I really don't care. I kiss him again but I feel like I now really can't stand on my feet.

"I've to sit- down, I need to-" I tell him before pulling away and he somehow manages to lead me to the bed where we land with a thud. He giggles as he lands on top of me and oh my _god_ I love his giggles. I pull him down for another kiss and I just faintly hear Brendon and Patrick whining beside us. If they don't want to watch, they don't have to. However, I don't get it why would someone _not_ want to watch us.

"Hey, wait," Tyler pulls away suddenly and I groan. I needed his kisses so much more that I thought I did. "What're we doing?" he asks me with smiling eyes. He doesn't mind.

"This's what we should've done for the last months as well," I tell him, clumsily putting word after word. "I was so fuckin' lonely without you, Ty, this's the _least_ we can do," I nod to emphasize my words.

"Thought we broke up," he reminds me, his hand pushing away a lock of hair from my face. He looks at me like I'm the most beautiful man alive.

"But you love me," I exclaim.

"I think I do."

He kisses me forcefully, as if he has realized it in this moment. I kiss back, feeling dizzy but somehow really happy. It feels really warm in the pit of my stomach, maybe it's the alcohol, maybe the joint, maybe what I've once felt for Tyler Joseph. What I may still feel for him.

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing I sense is his smell.

I don't want to wake up. I know I sometimes smell his scent in the morning out of nothing, and I try to convince myself it's not real.

Then I hear a groan by myself.

My eyes open wide, now I'm fully awake. I'm facing my wall, the white, cold wall in front of me, and I don't want to turn around. I feel somebody is next to me in the bed, in _our_ bed, and I remember being drunk last night.

How did I get home? When did I get home?

And _who_ the hell is here with me in my bed?

I suddenly realize it's not gone. I can still smell him.

I can't take it any longer, I have to turn to my back first, then to my other side. I feel nauseous, I'm hungover. I close my eyes for a moment, inhale, exhale, and I open my eyes again. And there he is.

Tyler is tangled up in my sheets, and I refuse to squeal. He's here. He's real. Back in my bed.

His face is so peaceful, so angelic that it makes me want to cry. His eyelashes are long and delicate, his lips are pink and his cheeks seem soft. I know they are soft.

It's not like I'm not happy, I just can't deal with it.

Flashbacks from last night come to my mind as images. Brendon crying. Ray smoking weed. Mikey and Pete making out. Me and Tyler dancing clumsily.

He took me home. And judging by the way we are both totally naked, I'm almost sure we had sex.

We had sex for the first time for  _months_ and I missed out on it.

Then his eyelashes suddenly flutter and he opens his eyes. He squints in the sunlight, then focuses on my face. I love watching him waking up.

"Morning," I smile at him, but suddenly freeze.

The fact that I missed him as hell and wanted us back together is one thing. My drunk state didn't change any of that. But what if _he_ -

"Hey," he gives me a small smile, and some of my worries fade away immediately. Not all, though.

We lay in silence for some moments, looking at each other how I remember we used to.

"So..." I try, not really determined.

"So," he repeats after me, sounding a bit less hungover.

"What happened last night..."

"We did nothing wrong," he tells me, and I'm so happy he says so.

"Yeah," I reply, trying to contain my grin, but then he giggles, fucking _giggles_ and I know I'm lost. I join him.

I have no idea where to go from here, but I know we'll manage.

I'm not letting him go again, that's for sure.

**Author's Note:**

> heeeeey lovelies, tell me how you liked this little nothing i wrote during classes yaay  
> also, i take prompts in various pairings and fandoms, please check my profile and send me something to write about thanks <33


End file.
